Graduation season may lead to a range of conflicting emotions.
For many, graduating marks an incredible milestone. The close of this huge chapter in our lives might feel bittersweet. There may be this strange mix of excitement for the future, but also of sadness for what is no longer ours. There might be gratitude, uncertainty, and even grief all existing at the same time.
You may feel gratitude for having endured the hardships and challenges that accompanied the journey to obtain your degree. Or maybe even relief that these last three years – some of the most mentally exhausting and demanding – are coming to a close.
The diploma received at the end of our studies is symbolic of the years of perseverance, growth, and effort.
Yet once the celebrations subside, the relief and gratitude might be quickly replaced with an unexpected feeling of emptiness.
Perhaps even a loss of purpose.
Who am I?
Who is the person about to walk across the stage?
You might feel like you do not even know yourself.
Being Told Who To Be
From a very young age, most of us are enrolled in some type of learning environment.
Whether it be daycare, or high school, or even university, these structured spaces teach us routine, rules and regulations, as well as clear expectations.
Upon personal reflection, I realize that I have spent the last 18 years of my life in school.
I followed the “standard” academic trajectory – I followed what I was told.
I started pre-school at four years old.
I graduated from elementary school at twelve.
I graduated from high school at seventeen.
Then I went to CEGEP for two years and graduated at the age of nineteen.
Now, here I am, at the ripe age of twenty-two and I have graduated with a bachelor’s degree.
There always seems to have been a clear next step. It was always another application for an educational institution (CEGEP, then university), another semester, another exam, another deadline, another goal, another internship, another…
School provided this very “obvious” and certain path.
Suddenly, there is nobody telling us what we should do next, or where we should be.
At first, I found myself thinking, “I did it. I completed my degree.”
That thought has now morphed itself into, “I completed my degree… now what?”
It can be an intimidating feeling – and there does not seem to be enough words to describe it.
We went from a structured schedule with strict deadlines, and very clear and rigid expectations to quite literally none.
Who is to tell us what to do next – who is to tell us who to be?
Giving Up Student Identity
When people ask me who I am, my answer is always the same.
“I am a student”.
Beyond that title, I have never perceived myself in a different way. I have never even really considered who I might be.
A student identity goes way beyond grades and academic excellence.
You become a part of club memberships, sports teams, and friend groups.
As humans, we have this need to belong, and to associate ourselves to groups.
School, especially university, becomes this sort of hub where you can access much of what you need, and be part of groups and communities.
Your friends, materials, courses, extracurriculars, and student services, are all found on one campus – everything is made to be so accessible.
You get morning texts from your friends asking if you want to have a last-minute study date.
Or even a text asking you to come over for dinner the day-of.
You walk across campus, and it is almost guaranteed you are going to run into a friendly, familiar face.
Graduating from university not only marks the loss of a student identity – it forces us to reconstruct our entire identity and who we believed ourselves to be.
Suddenly, the social events exist much less frequently, and there are not so many familiar faces surrounding us.
This marks a significant transition from a student identity to finding an identity in the “real-world”.
Finding Identity Beyond the Classroom
It can be quite difficult to process why a day of celebrations might later bring on some more difficult emotions to navigate such as grief, loss, and confusion.
Feeling those emotions can feel overwhelming even though they might be completely normal.
Shifting from a student identity to a “new” identity or to an identity beyond the classroom might not happen overnight but it will happen.
While I am still grieving my student identity because it has always been a fundamental part of me, there is also freedom and liberty in being able to reconstruct an identity.
In being able to redefine myself.
I am more than my degree, my grades, and beyond being a student, I am human.
It might be a time to discover hobbies, passions, goals, and interests.
It might be the time to learn to walk slower, breathe deeper, and laugh harder.
A time to be fully present without having deadlines and strict schedules occupying the soul.
It is a beautiful time to discover what makes us happy and to try and pursue that.
The paradox of being a graduate for me, is grieving this lost student identity while simultaneously being excited about the endless possibilities and uncertainty that the future holds. Both this grief and excitement can be true at once.
And I think realizing that is beautiful and liberating.
I hope that this reflection makes others feel less alone while they navigate post-graduation life.
Whether you are experiencing similar feelings of grief, loss, uncertainty or simply wishing to talk with someone in a safe space, you can book a free vent session with our team. We are always here to listen and support you.
