In my first few weeks, I asked myself, “How am I going to do this for the next 30–40 years?”
I had multiple jobs before I had my first full-time “corporate” job, and once I started, I kept asking myself if my experience and feelings were normal—or if for some reason, I am finding the adjustment to be more difficult than most people. I searched for similar experiences online but found most articles were about making the best first impression, and not about the emotions and trials of adjusting to a full-time job.
There are multiple things that I wish someone had shared with me before I started my first full-time job. Luckily, I shared my experience with friends and family, many of whom shared that they had similar experiences. But I found not many people sharing these experiences online.
So, here are 10 things that I wish someone told me when I started my first job.
1. You will cry more than once and it’s okay.
To quote How I Met Your Mother, “You’re not a New Yorker until you’ve cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks.” I cried in public. A few times. It gets better, I promise—either because you learn how to work with different personalities and get the hang of things, or you decide to change jobs which is also okay.
2. You will be anxious and scared of failing, but this doesn’t last forever.
It will pass, I promise. You will gain confidence, and at first you will need to fake it until you make it. After the first 3 months, you will realize you found your footing. After 6 months, you will realize you know what you need to do, and it is not as exhausting every day. After 1 year, you will: feel confident interacting with your more difficult colleagues, understand how your manager thinks, and know what is expected of you—all the things you didn’t think were possible during those first few weeks.
3. People will get mad at you for making mistakes, and they might even be harsh about it.
Yes, mistakes are part of learning, and yes, mistakes are inevitable, but your manager might still get mad at you. I made some very embarrassing mistakes in my first months on the job, but over time I reminded myself that as long as I am careful and diligent in my work, my mistake was the result of doing my best with the information that I had at the time. You will survive and have the chance to prove yourself. Write a checklist for the future so it doesn’t happen again, tell your manager you will do your best not to let it happen again, vent to your parents, afriend, or a stranger, and move on.
4. Don’t apologize for everything all the time.
If you’re like me, you will be tempted to apologize for everything, even when it’s not your fault. It is good to take responsibility for your mistakes, but apologizing all the time is actually not a good thing. You might take the blame for something that wasn’t your fault and it reflects poorly on you. It also makes it look like you keep making mistakes, even if you are not. Lastly, you want others to trust you and trust your actions—if you apologize for every little thing because you do not feel confident, it will lessen other people’s confidence in you. So when you are tempted to start a sentence with “sorry,” ask yourself first if this was really your mistake or not. If not, then skip the apology.
5. Your boss can be a good person and a bad manager.
It’s okay to admit to yourself that your manager has flaws that you dislike, or does things that make you mad. Maybe they constantly check your work, give constructive feedback in front of other colleagues, or do not show appreciation for your work. Next time they do something that pisses you off, go to the bathroom with no one around and say “f*** you.” Then after work, call your person to vent, and move on. There are more bad managers than good ones. Make note of all the things that set apart a good manager from a bad one so you can do a better job once you’re a manager.
6. Everyone’s gotta go
On the topic of bathrooms, going number 2 at the office is normal and you will need to do it more than once.
7. Having a work buddy can make a huge difference.
Having someone in your corner at work that you can turn to for validation, a laugh, or a quick proofread, can make all the difference. Try to find this person, even if they are not in your department. Related: learn what your colleagues do at work. It helps to understand their day to day, and will allow you to celebrate their wins.
8. Always get things in writing.
People forget things or even try to deflect blame, so it is very important to make sure you always have a receipt. If it was discussed in a meeting, send a summary of what was discussed and approved in writing. Pro tip: with so many virtual conversations, people might approve things using emoji reactions like a thumbs up, which can be removed. So in your written reply to getting approval, thank the person for their approval and state your next steps. This way if they question their own approval or say they didn’t know what your next steps would be, you can point to your written reply.
9. Watch what you say around others.
This might seem obvious, but people care how their bosses see them and how their colleagues see them. Be careful what you say or point out in front of others. Try not to call out someone’s mistakes in front of other people, whether online, or in a meeting. Especially be careful of what you say in front of your manager’s manager.
10. You can not please everyone. You will not like everyone. Focus on pleasing your manager.
You will work with people that you do not like. You will not like everyone, it’s normal. Someone might speak too much about their dating life, or sound condescending. Of course, stay professional and be kind, but know it’s okay to not like them.
Your experience might not be exactly my experience, but talking to friends or colleagues and realizing there is common ground in your experiences can help make you feel less alone in this huge transition. Every change is scary but it helps us grow and you will feel proud of how far you have come. If I can do it, and your colleagues can do it, so can you. You got this.
